Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition
by ForeverTheTorturedRebel
Summary: What happens when the fighters of Southtown battle in America's number one game show of brains, brawn and wits? Nothing but laughs, laughs, and more laughs! A parody of Saturday Night Live's "Celebrity Jeopardy" skit.
1. Chapter 1

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

The Jeopardy theme song plays as Alex Trebek is now standing between three of the best fighters from a place known as Southtown.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek said right to the camera, greeting everyone. "Before we start Double Jeopardy, I would like to remind the contestants to please quit flipping me of right now. With that being said, let's take a look at the board. In first place with -1,000 points is Ralf Jones.

Alex Trebek then looks at Ralf Jones, who is shown smoking in the studio.

"That's right, Trebek! Smokin's good for a tough man like me! You wanna try some?" Ralf said to Trebek as he tried to hand him a cigarette.

"I'd rather drown in pine tar." Trebek groaned real grimly, "In 2nd place, we have Athena Asamiya with -15,000 points."

"I just wanna say 'Hi' to my fans!" Athens shouted as she looked at the camera, "Hi, Kensou! Hi, Chin! Hi, Bao! Hi, Momoko! Hi, Uncle Saki with the diseased skin tags! Come and cheer for me! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"How painful of you, Mr. Asamiya..." Trebek said feeling a bit disturbed about the part involving skin tags. He then let out a very stressful sigh as he was about to introduce the next contestant, "And in last place with negative -55,000... is Kyo Kusanagi."

Trebek then looks at Kyo in his personal leather jacket and his denim pants. His handsome bangs had gleamed in the spotlight.

"Well, well, well Trebek. Looks like we meet again." Kyo said, greeting Trebek.

"We were only on break for two minutes." Trebek said sternly.

"That was just the amount of time I did to your mother last night!" Kyo teased at Trebek crazily. "Booyah!"

"How very concerning for you, Mr. Kusanagi..." Trebek sighed defeatedly, "Let's just go to Double Jeopardy. The categories are 'Potent Potables', 'Words That Rhyme With Foot', 'Shapes', 'Types of Boots', 'Can You Eat This', and 'Puppies'. Ralf Jones, we'll start with you."

Ralf Jones then started to smoke out of puff and replied, "Yeah, I'll take some Cigarettes, please."

"That's not a category, Ralf." Trebek said sternly.

"I wasn't choosing a category, ya pickled dope! I was wondering if you have any Cigarettes I can borrow." Ralf blared out.

"No, I don't. I'll just let Athena decide." Trebek spoke lowly.

"Uhhhhh, I'll choose me! Give me "Athena Asamiya' for $53,000!" Athena exclaimed like a little giggly fangirl.

"You're not one of the categories, Athena! You have choose one out of the six categories!" Trebek said just fuming at the Psycho Soldier/pop star.

"Ohhhh, all of them suck..." Athena said just blowing off the answer board, "I'll give it to Kyo, then."

"Smart move, Mrs. Asamiya..." Trebek said to Athena as he turned his attention to Kyo, "Mr. Kusanagi, please choose."

"Nice to hear it. I'll take 'Types of Boobs' for 400." Kyo said to Trebek with a smirk.

"Kyo, that's 'Types of Boots', not 'Types of Boobs'!" Trebek said, just flaring up. Kyo then responded to Trebek by pressing his buzzer.

"What is Mai Shiranui?" Kyo answered.

"Absolutely not. Let's go Types of Boots for $400." Trebek said as a picture of Ralf Jones's boots appeared on the screen, 'These Boots Are Worn By This Guy'. Ralf Jones, you might want to ring in here."

Kyo then buzzes in.

"Mr. Kusanagi?" Trebek said asking him.

"Pamela Anderson!" Kyo shouted and exclaimed.

"For the last time, it's Types of Boots, not 'Types of Boobs'!" Trebek fumed with a stern voice yet again. Athena Asamiya then decided to buzz in, "Miss Asamiya?"

Athena then looked like she was going to say something, but she thought of something different.

"I forgot..." Athena said with such disappointment.

"Good lord..." Trebek said in such embarrassment. Ralf Jones then decided to give it a try by buzzing in, "Ralf Jones... and remember if you say your name, you get points."

"Okay, what is the... tinkle fairy?" Huntress answered as Trebek sighed aggressively.

"Time's up, Mr. Jones..." Trebek groaned in agony, "The answer was frickin YOU!. YOU WEAR THOSE BOOTS ALL THE TIME! CHECK YOUR FRICKIN' FEET!"

And then all of a sudden, Ralf Jones looks down at his feet and reacts stupidly, "Hey, sonofabitch, how did these get in my feet again? I didn't know I bought those... was I drunk with hyacinth?"

"Good god..." Trebek said as he held his nose to the tip of his hands in shame, "Mr. Kusanagi, it's once again your board. Or better yet, allow me to choose for you. How about Shapes for $800? That ought to be easy. The question is, 'Which Shape Is This?'"

A picture of a horizontal 9-inch rectangle is now shown on the answer board. After such quick thinking, Kyo decided to buzz in.

"Mr. Kusanagi?" Trebek asked once again.

"What is the size of my penis?" Kyo guessed stupidly.

"Not even close." Trebek growled at him bluntly.

"It was close to what your mother got last night!" Kyo smirked at him suddenly, "You know she likes my huge rectangle!"

"Okay, that was a low blow, there..." Trebek said right at Kyo, who was still smirking his ass off. Athena then decided to buzz in and take a guess, "Mrs. Asamiya."

"Oh oh! What is a... chicken?" Athena guessed out constantly.

"Absolutely not!" Trebek exclaimed angrily as Ralf Jones decided to take another shot by buzzing in, "Ralf Jones?"

"Okay, I got this..." Ralf replied as he thought up another guess, "What is my penis?"

A buzzer then sounds on both of the players.

"No it's frickin' not! The answer was a rectangle!" Trebek exclaimed angrily and stressfully.

"Oh, so it's a penis then. That means me and Ralf gets points! BOO-YAH!" Kyo exclaimed as he and Ralf high-fived.

"Nobody's getting points! I swear all of you are retarded!" Trebek groaned responsibly.

"Only Athena is. Does that count?" Rolf responded as he gestured to Athena regarding Trebek's retarded comment

"Way to go Ralf... You know what, let's just go ahead to Final Jeopardy. And there is no category to this one. All you gotta do is write your name. Do that and you automatically win." Trebek said with such absolute pity as Ralf, Athena, and Kyo wrote on their podiums as the Final Jeopardy song kicked in.

"Remember, all you gotta do to win is to write your name. It takes a first and a last name. Do that and you get points and outta my life for good. That's all you gotta do" Trebek continued to speak on as the fighters were finished with their answers and the Final Jeopardy song closed on them. "Well, I can either pray to God that none of you messed up. Let's start with Ralf Jones and he wrote..."

Ralf's answer happened to be the words, "Your name".

"You drew 'your name'. I don't know if we can accept that, Mr. Jones, but it's close enough from here. Let's take a look at what you waged." Trebek said as he revealed the wager.

Ralf's wager happened to be "is Alex Trebek."

"'...Is Alex Trebek. Well, that's right on one occasion. But unfortunately, you don't get points for writing someone's name in, expecially mine." Trebek said to a Ralf who felt disappointed.

"Ah, like I give a rat's piss what you drink." Ralf said as he just ignored looking at Trebek like it was his own business.

"Yes, well... let's just go right ahead to Athena." Trebek replied to the camera as he approached Athena's podium, "Let's see what you wrote..."

Athena's answer just happened to be a total blank.

"...And Athena couldn't even remember her very own name. How wonderful..." Trebek said in such embarrassment.

"I forgot again." Athena said looking a little dizzy-like.

"I see. And you wagered..."

Athena's wager happened to be just a penny.

"You only wagered what seems to be a penny. How weird of you, Mrs. Asamiya." Trebek said with such a groan.

"That's all I had coming here!" Athena exclaimed to Trebek happily.

"Well, good for you. I hope Special Ed has a spokesperson in you." Trebek said as he now turned his attention to Kyo. "Okay, Kyo Kusanagi. You look pretty excited. Let's see what Kyo wrote."

Kyo's answer just happened to be: "Kyo Kusanagi".

"Kyo Kusanagi... that's your name! You answered correctly!" Alex Trebek said, looking pretty giddy of Kyo's response. "Wow, I must say, I am so surprised that you got something right! That is wonderful."

"Yeah, well... it's all in good fun my man. A man like you deserves a break every now and then." Kyo said smiling at him.

"Well, thank you for the compliment, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek said, smiling as well.

"No problem." Kyo said as he patted Trebek in the back.

"Okay, let's see what Kyo wagered here."

Kyo's wager happened to be: "Just F***ed your mom."

"'Just F***ed my mom...'" Trebek said, looking very speechless. Kyo had just fooled Trebek really good.

"Booyah! She can't get enough of my throbbing rectangle, Trebek!" Kyo teased him, just blowing it all in Trebek's face. He then looked right at the cmaera, sending out a message to someone, "What do ya think of this, Iori? Wish your rectangle was bigger than mine? Well, suck it hard, ya dope! HAHAHA!"

"How family-friendly of you, Kyo..." Trebek spoke angrily and gruffily at Kyo angrily as he then focused right on to the camera, "Well, that's all for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm gonna go suffocate in my sleep. Good night."

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**Man, what an opening that was! Hard to think that Kyo would burn Trebek like that. Props!**

**Next chapter is gonna get wilder than ever! Read and review, broski's!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song played once again as Alex Trebek is still standing between three new fighters and a returning fighter ready to test his skill again.

"And eelcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek said right to the camera once again in a very grim fashion. "Once again, I would like to remind our fighters that there will be no cursing in Japanese. Now let's take a look at the board once again. Ryo Sakazaki is in 1st place with a score of -4,000."

Alex Trebek then looks at Ralf Jones, who is shown smoking in the studio.

"I'm here to spread to the message of the Kyokugen fighting style all around the world! For those of all who are enrolled, free juice and coke for everyone!" Ryo exclaimed with his fists pumped in the air. "Would you like to be enrolled today, Mr. Trebek."

"I would love to. I would love some Coke to drink as well." Trebek said, smiling at Ryo.

"Who said anything about a drink?" Ryo replied back to Trebek's response, "We're getting coked up man! My father's in charge of the meth if you want!"

"On second thought, I'll pass..." Trebek groaned as he looked at the next contestant, "At 2nd place is Sie Kensou with negative -11,000."

"I'll take Potent Potable-" Kensou said out loud before he was cut off.

"We haven't started playing yet, Kensou." Trebek said interrupting one of the Psycho Soldiers.

"Sorry, I get a little rushed sometimes. I'm just so pumped to be here, man!" Kensou said looking giddy as always.

"I wish I wasn't..." Trebek said to himself as to his disappointment, looked at the next contestant stading right before Kensou, "And finally, last and I wish least, in 3rd place with -50,000... is... Kyo Kusanagi."

"We meet once again, ya moustached bastard." Kyo said, greeting Trebek with a smirk, "It's been sometime."

"Just like my life is..." Trebek said with a depressive sigh. "Okay, here are the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are: 'Potent Potables', 'Fleetwood Mac', 'Consoles that start with 'Box', 'Movie Titles', 'Don't Say Anything', and finally 'Go To The Bathroom" in which if you choose this category and if I ask you if you want to go to the bathroom, just say yes and you're awarded the points. Mr. Sakazaki, your turn to choose."

"I'm here to spread the message of Kyokugen-style karate to everyone!" Ryo said once again in front of Trebek.

"You already said that, Ryo. Choose a category." Trebek said to Ryo as the host was about to feel a little stressed-out once again.

"Hi, King! Daddy's comin' for some lovin' after this! Peace out to you, my lover!" Ryo said as she lent out a shout-out to King from the camera.

"That's nice... I'll let Kensou choose instead." Trebek spoke lowly.

"I'll take a lifeline!" Kensou exclaimed as he pressed the buzzer crazily.

"That's the wrong show, Kensou. This is Celebrity Jeopardy." Trebek said moodily to Kensou.

"Well, can I buy a vowel then?" Kensou suggested.

"Absolutely not..." Trebek said, scowling at Kensou for being an idiot. "Kyo Kusanagi, please choose a category."

"I'll take 'Movie Titties' for $400." Kyo said right to Trebek, who was already fuming from the inside out.

"Mr. Kusanagi, that's 'Movie Titles', not 'Movie Titties'!" Trebek said to Kyo, forcely correcting him.

"Damn!" Kyo exclaimed to himself.

"Anyway, 'Movie Titles' for $400." Trebek said as the first question popped up on the board, "'This is the movie title starring Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, and Alyson Hannigan'."

Kyo decides to buzz in the question.

"Mr. Kusanagi?" Trebek said to him properly

"Dolly Parton!" Kyo shouted and exclaimed.

"I already told you once and before, it's 'Movie Titles', not 'Movie Titties'!" Trebek said, fuming at Kyo once again. Kensou then buzzed in much to Trebek's annoyance. "Mr. Kensou?"

"I'll take the physical challenge!" Kensou exclaimed right at Trebek.

"Kensou, that's Double Dare!" Trebek exclaimed angrily at him, "And frickin' answer in the form of a question!"

"Oh, I'm sorry... what is the physical challenge?" Kensou responded right back.

"Not even close enough..." Trebek said in annoyance. Ryo then decided to buzz right in, "Mr. Sakazaki?"

"Ummmmmm... what is Kyokugen-style Karate?" Everyone wanna join?" Ryo said right to Trebek and then to the audience as the buzzer sounded on him.

"No one want's to join your chicken-love club, Ryo..." Trebek groaned deeply "The answer was American Pie! Mr. Kensou, you choose instead."

"Um... that will be my final answer, Philbin!" Kensou exclaimed stupidly.

"You do realize my name's Trebek..." Trebek said, just groaning tiredlessly. "You know what, I'll choose. How about 'Consoles That End With The Word 'Box' for $400? 'Fill in the Blank: Blank Box.'

Kensou then started to buzz in.

"Oh, dear God, Mr. Kensou?" Trebek said to him.

"Where's The Beef?" Kensou shouted out loud.

"I don't have any, thank you..." Trebek said, just gritting his teeth at the stupid psycho soldier. Ryo then buzzed in. "Mr. Sakazaki?"

"I'm going for broke here. What is... cardboard?" Ryo guessed slightly as he got it wrong.

"Ryo, why in the hell is a cardboard box considered a game console?" Trebek said in angered reaction.

"All those games we have now are way too hard. Nothing feels so fun and gay than playing a cardboard box!" Ryo exclaimed proudly.

"How retarded of you..." Trebek said, scowling at the Invicible Dragon. Kyo then decided to take a shot at it by buzzing in. "Mr. Kusanagi."

"What is a hotbox?" Kyo guessed slightly as Trebek groaned.

"No, Mr. Kusanagi. It's not..." Trebek said to Kyo as he rolled his eyes.

"Really? Because that's the kind of box I gave it to your mother last night! HA!" Kyo exclaimed teasing Trebek once again.

"Okay, that was awful of you..." Trebek replied, scowling at Kyo fiercely. "You know what? Let's just forget the answer and go right to Final Jeopardy. Your category is 'What Do You Wanna Do Now?' Just write something what you want to do right now." Trebek said with such bored grief as Ryo, Kensou, and Kyo wrote on the podiums as the Final Jeopardy theme song kicked into high gear.

"Just remember, just write down what do you wanna do. Do you wanna leave? Leave. If you are hungry, just say yes and you automatically win food. Or if you want to hang myself through the noose. Just say so, I really don't give a damn." Trebek continued on as the fighters were finished with their answers and their wagers for the little intermission. "Well, let's hope one of you didn't f**k up. We'll start with Ryo Sakazaki, and he wrote..."

Ryo's answer happened to be, "Phluck".

"Huh, 'Phluck' pronounced with the F. I assume that means you wanna be a chicken. Fine, that's fair enough." Trebek said nodding to Ryo, "And you wagered..."

Ryo's wager happened to be "Off."

"'...'Off'. 'Phluck Off'. Phluck Off? I really don't get it, Mr. Sakazaki..." Trebek said with a confused tone.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Ryo boistered to Trebek, just pointing and laughing hardly right at the guy's face.

"You sure are a bundle of laughs, I assume..." Trebek replied to him as he was now approaching Kensou's podium, "All right, Kensou. There's a smile on your face, let's see what you wrote..."

Kensou's answer just happened to be a question mark.

"...You put down a question mark. So you couldn't know what to do right now, huh?" Trebek said, raising an eyebrow to the Psycho Soldier.

"What is Batman and Robin?" Kensou hollered out in a very uninteresing way.

"You're already too late, Kensou." Trebek informed him sternly, "And you wagered..."

Kensou's wager happened to be a question mark again.

"You didn't know the wager either..." Trebek said with just stunned awe.

"Did I win anything?" Kensou said right to Trebek as he was still stunned.

"Basically a ride to the mental hospital of course..." Trebek said still being stunned as he now wen't to Kyo's podium. "Okay, Mr. Kusanagi. You sure look very happy with your answer."

"Why couldn't I be?" Kyo said with such mock happiness, "I'm just glad to be here, that's all!"

"Well, that's the spirit, I assume..." Trebek smiled constantly at Kyo, "Okay, Kyo Kusanagi, let's see what you want to do..."

Kyo's answer happened to be: "Trebek's Mother".

Trebek saw this and looked so much a combination of stun and shock.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Kyo laughed boisteriously as Trebek felt a liitle shock of anger emerge out of him now. "That's what I did last night! Bite on that, ya bushwhacker..."

"Well, you're definitely a piece of s**t-covered scum..." Trebek scowled aggressively at Kyo as he faced the camera. "That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm gonna go fall off a cliff and kill myself. Good night."

**Man, that was an excellent burn from Kyo! What will he do in the next chapter? Read and review to find out! This is gonna be hot!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song had played again as the host Alex Trebek is now standing alongside three new fighters and a returning fighter ready to test his skill again.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek replied to the camera once again feeling low. "I thought that our second episode would be our last, but since God hates me, it was popular enough to order a third episode. Let's just look at the scores. Kula Diamond is in first place with a score of $5."

"It feels so good to be here! I don't think I've ever been good at something like this before! I bet with this money, I get all the free Ice Cream I could ever get!" Kula exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, wouldn't we all?" Trebek said with a stressful sigh, "Next up, we have Mai Shiranui in 2nd place with -5,000."

"Wow, I'm never been so nervous in my life." Mai said feeling a little shy, "I hope my sweat doesn't pop open my top! That would be just so silly... but who cares! I'm on TV and I'm having a blast! HAHAHA!" Mai laughed as her big bouncy succulent breasts was bouncing happily with her jumping. Even one of her breasts came very close to flashing through a network audience.

"Just like the blast I'm gonna hear when the gun gets pointed to my head." Trebek sighed depressingly as he looked at the final contestant with such groaned intent, "And finally, in last place with -9,000... Kyo Kusanagi is here... yet again."

"I wouldn't miss it for the entire world, ya crap-filled dope fiend." Kyo said to Trebek, smirking his butt off. "I never get tired one bit, unlike your mother last night..."

"Oh, woe is me..." Trebek said as he rolled his eyes constantly, "It's now time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. They are: 'Potent Potables', 'How Many Sides a Circle Has', 'Animals That Ends With The Letters 'ird', 'News', 'Figure It Out Yourself', and finally 'Don't Say Anything' in which if you don't say even one word, you get points. Kula, since you're in the lead, you start."

"Start what?" Kula said, who looked at Trebek like she wasn't even paying attention.

"The competition. You get to choose a category." Trebek said, just informing Kula to choose.

"Nah, I don't feel like it. I want some ice cream! Do you have any?" Kula replied to Trebek, just smiling.

"We can't eat in the middle of the show!" Trebek said with a stern voice.

"You suck..." Kula muttered angrily at Trebek as she crossed her arms and turned the other cheek.

"I know..." Trebek muttered sadly as he now focused on Mai, who was still adjusting her boobs. "Mai Shiranui, you start instead."

"Okay, let me have 'Go To The Bathroom' for $400!" Mai suggested as he raised her hand on the air while her breasts flopped around doing so.

"Miss Shiranui, that was a category in our last episode. It's not a category this time. So let's just go with Animals That Ends With The Letters 'ird' for $400. " Trebek replied as the clue popped on the board, "This is the only animal that ends with the letters 'ird'."

Immediately, Kyo decided to buzz in.

"Mr. Kusanagi?" Said Trebek.

"Suck on this, ya appletard!" Kyo exclaimed to Trebek as he gave the host of Celebrity Jeopardy the middle finger. Trebek looked at it and was disgusted at the sight.

"Not _that_ kind of animal!" Trebek said to Kyo, just fuming right at the mouth. Mai decided to take her shot at it by buzzing in, "Miss Shiranui?"

"What is Turd?" Mai said with a guess. Trebek was just astounded.

"No." Trebek replied.

"Ha! She said 'turd'!" Kyo said, just laughing his ass off and pointing at Mai's response to the question.

"I hate you so much..." Trebek said just putting his fingers on the top angle of his nose like he was ashamed, "The answer was 'Bird'! B-I-R-D! Bird!" Trebek then focused his attention to Kula. "Ms. Diamond, you have control of the board."

Kula wasn't paying attention again. Instead, she was busy eating a bowl of strawberry ice cream just to pass the time, indicating she didn't even care about this competition anymore.

"Kula, you're NOT supposed to eat that in the middle of the show! Don't you even care about winning?" Trebek said to Kula as he was just upset by this, "Don't you even wanna win."

"Nah, it's way too hard. I wanna eat ice cream! That's way more fun than winning! Even Diana says so! You wanna meet her?" Kula replied to Trebek as a dip of Ice Cream landed right on her red-purple suit. Most notably her chest.

"No I do-you're dripping it all over the place!" Trebek said right to Kula, who was making a total mess of herself.

"That's what your mother said last night!" Kyo said shooting right at Trebek with one of his insults.

"I can't believe I said that..." Trebek said right to himself, looking very ashamed. "Let's just go to 'How Many Sides A Circle Has' for $800. 'This is how many sides a circle has.'"

Kyo then decided to buzz in once again.

"Mr. Kusanagi."

"Two!" Kyo exclaimed in a trance-like state. He seems to be staring at something and not paying attention to the clue.

"No, Mr. Kusanagi. How can there be two sides to a circle?" Trebek said with such stern annoyance.

"Oh, I have my reasons, Trebek..." Kyo smirked as he seems to be staring at Mai's luscious breasts. The look on Kyo's face felt like he was some sort of wolf in heat. Mai looked at him in this state and giggled. Oh, so that's what he meant by two sides of a circle.

"He really does like my circles!" Mai spoke right to Trebek as she mushed them together so that Kyo could make a speedboat sound with them.

"MPBHBHBHBHBHBHBH!" Kyo said, just speedboating her rack.

"You're a very disgusting perv, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek groaned sternly because of the display, "Let's just skip all the questions and go right to Final Jeopardy. The category is..." Trebek added as the rest of the contestants, including Kula looked at him in anticipation of what the final category was.

"You know what? You bastards don't deserve to know the category." Trebek told at them angrily as he ripped up the note cards. "Instead, just write the name or a picture of a fighter. Do that immediately and you win."

Hearing this, Kula, Mai and Kyo all grabbed their pens and began writing on their podiums as the Final Jeopardy theme music played.

"Remember, it can be any fighter you want. If you want to draw Terry Bogard, draw Terry Bogard. If you want to draw Ryo Sakazaki, draw Ryo Sakazaki. Or if you want to draw nobody, then draw nobody. I really don't give a damn." Trebek replioed to them as the rest of the fighters had finished with their answers and wagers. As the Final Jeopardy theme song ended, Trebek approached them, "Let's see what rare gems you came up with. Let's start with Kula Diamond. She wrote..."

Kula's answer happened to be, "Ice Cream".

"Ice cream. That doesn't count as a fighter, Kula." Trebek said right to Kula with disgrace.

"What can I say? I scream for it." Kula said to Trebek, just smiling at him.

"Whatever." Trebek said with a distressing sigh, "And you wagered..."

Kula's wager happened to be "More ice cream."

"'More ice cream... you need some counseling, I assume. I intend you get it..." Trebek said to Kula with such scorn as he approached Mai Shiranui's podium. However Trebek doesn't realize that Mai has disappeared onto the other podium, "Let's go to Mai Shiranui. Of course, she's wandered off somewhere. I assume she didn't write nothing..."

Mai's answer happened to be just a blank screen.

"I'm right..." Trebek replied, And I'm hoping she didn't wager anything..."

Mai's wager happened to be nothing. Zero. Zip.

"And I'm also right..." Trebek said with a sigh, "How typical of Miss Shiranui... let's go right to Kyo Kusanagi..."

As Trebek approached Kyo's podium, he saw the only thing that surprised him. A huge, hot and heavy make-out session between Kyo and Mai. There was so much passionate moaning and kissing all around them that it made Trebek a little dazed.

"And I'm certain he has his tongue inside Mai Shiranui..." Trebek said, just looking on the makeout display between the two flame-bringers. "I'll ignore that, but let's see what Kyo wrote down..."

Kyo's answer happened to be: "Andy Bogard,".

"He just happened to write down 'Andy Bogard,'." Trebek said with such satisfaction in his face, "Well, Andy Bogard is a fighter, I assume. So despite his best efforts. Mr. Kusanagi managed to answer correctly."

Trebek then looked right on to the love-making twosome once again as Kyo took Mai in an all-around-the-world on his own podium.

"Okay, that's not normal..." Trebek replied right to the pair, who was too busy kissing and smooching to focus on the host himself, "Let's see what Mr. Kusanagi wagered..."

Kyo's wager happened to be: I f***ed Mai Shiranui

"You wagered that you're doing Mai..." Trebek replied right to Kyo, who just shooed Alex right away. "You're definitely one homewrecking pinhead." Trebek then focused right on the camera. "That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm gonna go try to kiss my own ass. Good day."

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**Andy would just flippin' lose it one bit. No doubt about it.**

**Who will be safe come next chapter? Read and review, science bitches! WINNING!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song played yet again for the fourth time as Alex Trebek was standing alongside three brand new fighters and a returning fighter ready to test his skill again.

"And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek replied to the camera once again feeling low. "Before we start Double Jeopardy, I would like to remind everyone watching at home to please change the channel right now. You will never get these precious moments back in your life. Let's now take a look at the board. In 1st place with -5,000, is Alba Meira."

"This world sucks. My life sucks. Why can't Fate be alive today? I tell ya, Trebek, it's injustice and I won't stand for it!" Alba exclaimed in defense to the host.

"Cry about your whole problems, Mr. Meira..." Trebek said as he rolled his eyes, "In 2nd place with -12,000 is Luise Meyrink."

"Life is such a beautiful thing. Music is such a beautiful thing. All those humans who watch me will see the world with my beauty, grace and elegance that will lead me to victory..." Luise said to the host sweetly as he turned around gracefully and gave an air kiss to Trebek.

"Well, how uncomfortable of you..." Trebek said in a stern attitude, "And finally, in 3rd place with a excruciating -60,000 is... dear god, Kyo Kusanagi..."

"Nice of you to have me back, Trebek. Much like your mother was on yours last night!" Kyo exclaimed to Trebek just like a madman.

"Again with the mom jokes, I see..." Trebek said with a depressive groan. "Let's just go right to the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are: 'Potent Potables', 'Is This Legal?', 'What's My Name', 'Grape Ape', Famous Actors named 'Cruise', and finally, 'Whiskey'. If you choose this category, you automatically get the points and I get hammered. Alba Meira, you start first. May I suggest 'Whiskey'?"

"No, I'm not thirsty." Alba said with a negative shrug.

"Duh, I know that, Mr. Meira. It's a clue. Do you want Whiskey?" Trebek said with a stressful sigh.

"I told you, I'm not thirsty! I already drank Heineken coming here." Alba said to Trebek sternly as he adjusted his glasses.

"How friendly of you..." Trebek sighed aggressively as he focused on Luise, "Mrs. Meyrink, you choose the category."

"I'll take $2,000." Luise guessed embarassingly.

"Fine... on which category?" Trebek answered to her.

"The Video Daily Double." Luise guessed siupidly as Trebek laid down his head in embarrassment.

"Are you a butterfly or retarded?" Trebek told right to her face as he then focused on the category, "Let's just go to 'What's My Name' for $400.

And then suddenly, Kyo seemed to buzz in and take his guess for some unknown reason.

"What is Alex Trebek?" Kyo said, pointing to the host.

"No Mr. Kusanagi, I'm not the clue. You need to let me finish-" Trebek said clearly, before he was cut off by Luise who wanted to take her guess, "What is it, Mrs. Meyrink?"

"Who is Alex Trebek?" Luise said with a smile. Trebek was growing a bit irritated.

"Luise, you need to let me..." Trebek said calmly before he was cut off again. This time, by Alba Meira. "What the hell now, Mr. Meira?"

"Alex Trebek." Alba said with a smile and the adjusting of the glasses. Trebek was now growing pissed off as it was. He was about to lose it for sure.

"PLEASE LET ME ANSWER THE G****MN FUCKING CLUE!" Alex Trebek yelled at the rest of the contestants, and then took a deep light breath, "What's My Name' for $400. The question is 'what's your name'?"

Both Alba, Luise and Kyo could not respond one bit. Instead their minds were in their own little dreamworld as a matter of fact.

"Come on, you can guess this out everyone. It's written on your podiums..." Trebek said to the contestants, trying to give them the easiest of clues.

Still, all three contestants decided to run out the buzzer without a clue.

"Good god... the answer was simple! It was Alba Meira, Luise Meyrink and Kyo Kusanagi, for geez sake!" Trebek exclaimed madly yet aggressively. Alba Meira then buzzed out prematurely. "What is it, Mr. Meira?"

"What is Alba Meira?" Alba smiled to Trebek, who took a painful sigh once more.

"Alba Meira, you're too late." Trebek said to Alba, just rolling his eyes. "Kyo Kusanagi, it's your turn to choose."

"I'll take Grape Rape for $800." Kyo smiled right to Trebek, who felt like he wanted to shoot himself.

"Kyo, that's 'Grape Ape' not Grape Rape!" Trebek exclaimed Kyo, trying to correct him on the category.

"Really?" Kyo said with a suggestive eyebrow, "Your mother's got some a fine luscious grape on that rump of hers!"

"This again?" Trebek sighed.

"I'd pluck her from behind!" Kyo exclaimed crazily as he leaned on his podium just to tell it at his face.

"I'm sure you will..." Trebek said, just rolling his eyes, once again. "Grape Ape for $800. The question is: This is the only animated purple ape in television history."

Without a moment to waste on, Alba Meira buzzed in.

"Mr. Meira?" Trebek said right to Alba.

"What is Donkey Kong?" Alba said, smiling right at the host.

"Not even close..." Trebek spoke out in annoyance. It was then Luise's turn to buzz in. "Mrs. Meyrink."

"Vhat is King Kong?" Luise smiled to the host as well. "I mean, it's got to be right."

"No, Luise, it's not right." Alex Trebek said with such a weary expression, "And I would like to have Mr. Kusanagi take a guess, but because the nosebleeds I'm already suffering because of his comments about my mother, let's just forget what the answer already is and go right to Final Jeopardy. The category is 'Rabbits'. Just draw any kind of rabbit and you win automatically."

The final Jeopardy theme song then plays as Alba, Luise and Kyo both grabbed their pens and started to write their answers.

"If you want to draw a rabbit, even Bugs Bunny, just do so. If you hate rabbits, then don't draw at all. You can't be the most retarded group of people to mess this up." Trebek said to the contestants as they both completed their answers and wagers. The song finally ends as Trebek begins to approach Alba. "Okay, lets see these priceless gems our contestants come up with. We'll start with Alba Meira and he writes..."

Alba's answer happened to be "Rabbit".

"Rabbit. Alba, you do realize the category is to just draw a rabbit, not write the word 'rabbit'. That's wrong, by the way. Let's see what Mr. Meira wagered."

Alba's wager happened to be the word 'penis'.

"Penis. Rabbit penis..." Trebek said in such a blank state. Alba started laughing his ass off, much to Trebek's expense.

"Yeah, that's what I thought all along." Alba chuckled with a grin.

"There's something wrong with your brain..." Trebek said right to Alba as he began to focus on Luise, "Okay. Luise Meyrink, we'll see what you've come up with."

Luise's answer happened to be a picture of a butterfly.

"You happened to draw a butterfly. That's also wrong." Trebek said bluntly to Luise.

"Rabbits give me cramps. Mostly my precious legs..." Luise said a little painfully.

"Wow..." Trebek said in such mock amazement. "Let's see what you wagered..."

Luise's wager just happened to be a question mark.

"You forget to wager. How exciting." Trebek replied bluntly.

"I'm as cheap as they come." Luise smiled right at the host itself.

"By looking at that outfit of yours, I can tell..." Trebek muttered at her as he began to approach Kyo's podium. "Okay, Kyo Kusanagi. You look rather happy of yourself. Let's see what you wrote down."

Kyo's answer happened to be half of a picture which showed a huge, giant rabbit getting Trebek from behind in a very dirty way.

"I see... I see where this is exactly going. Let me see here..." Trebek said as he looked over the podium, mostly looking at the rest of Kyo's picture, "Yeah, yeah... that's a rabbit raping me from behind. You're tasteless."

"Aw, come on fruitcake! Let the people watching at home show them my work!" Kyo exclaimed and smiled to the camera.

"No, we're not doing that, okay?" Trebek said angrily to Kyo and then looked right at the camera, "I quit! Once again! Good night!"

"Oh, come on! Come on, ya fruit...!" Kyo exclaimed to the host as he was following Trebek out of the studio.

* * *

**Man, Kyo can sure push the envelope as far as he can!**

**Will Trebek survive another onslaught from him come next chapter? Read and review until then, broski's!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 5  
**

The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song played once again for the fifth time as the host Alex Trebek was standing alongside three more fighters. Actually, make that two new fighters and a returning fighter that we all know and love.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek responded to the camera in a weary expression. "I wish I weren't here right now, if those bastard producers hadn't hunted me down with those bear traps, and yet I'm in hell right around now. We got a real riptide on our hands here, so let's take a look at the board. Kyo Kusanagi is in third place with a excruicatingly painful -90,000."

"I just thought of something funny, Trebek..." Kyo replied gladly.

"Really? Well, what is it?" Trebek said questionably.

"The face the mother was making last night when I did her." Kyo smirked at him crazily. Trebek looked a little annoyed by him.

"I had to ask..." Trebek said, just being the foolish fool he was, "Moving on, in 2nd place with -25,000 is Ash Crimson."

"I'm a late bloomer, madamoiselle, and on Double Jeopardy, I will bloom!" Ash exclaimed with such a frilly attitude.

"You do realize I'm a guy, right?" Trebek said to Ash, just reminding him of his sex, "And finally, and thank goodness, Terry Bogard is in a commanding lead with $1."

"Hey, uh... check out the podium. Look at it, man!" Terry exclaimed to the host as Alex began to look at Terry's podium with such disbelief.

"It seems that Mr. Terry Bogard has his name apparently changed to Franky Fartknocker..." Trebek said in such nonsense.

"Yeah, that's right. Franky Fartknocker. It's a funny name..." Terry said with a blant chuckle.

"I see... it's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board." Trebek said as he turned his attention to the category board, "The categories are: 'Potent Potables', 'Types of Holidays', 'Pop Culture', 'Can You See Me', 'Dogs You Can Eat', and finally 'Fries that are French'.

"Hey, uh, I speak a little french. You're an assclown, pardon my french!" Terry exclaimed to the host.

"I'm French!" Ash Crimson said, just stepping in.

"Yeah, well who gives a damn?" Terry said right to Ash.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Bogard is in the lead so he gets to choose first." Trebek spoke very blant.

"Yeah, give me the dog thing for $10,000." Terry said in unison.

"Okay, Dogs You Can Eat for $400." Trebek said before he went on with the clue, "This is the food where you wrap with a bun."

And then, Ash Crimson rang in to guess out the answer.

"Ash Crimson?"

"Ze answer of course is Pickles." Ash replied to Trebek, just guessing stupidly, "I'll take Dogs You Can Eat for $800, thank you-" was all that he could say when the buzzer cut him completely off.

"That's wrong." Trebek said right to Ash as Terry took his chance and buzzed in. "Terry Bogard."

"Nah, that's not my name." Terry said to Trebek with reassurance.

Trebek then suddenly remembered who Terry's new name was, and just said with a depressing sigh.

"Okay... Franky Fartknocker?" Trebek said in such stress. Hearing this, Terry let out a joking chuckle.

"Yeah, what do ya want?" Terry said to Trebek, chuckling.

"You buzzed in." Trebek replied to Bogard.

"No, I didn't." Terry said chuckling once again.

"Yes, you did!" Trebek exclaimed sternly to Terry.

"Well, that's your opinion, douche." Terry said as he turned the other cheek.

"I hate my life..." Trebek said as he rolled his eyes to the camera, "The answer was a hot dog! It's the only dog you can eat. Mr. Bogard, since you are nothing but an annoying dink. I'll let Mr. Kusanagi go this time. Kyo Kusanagi, you now have control of the board.

"Oooh, here I come, Trebek!" Kyo exclaimed with such competitive intensity, "I'll take Poop Culture for $400."

"Kyo, that's 'Pop Culture', not Poop Culture!" Trebek exclaimed to Kyo, trying to correct the clue, "Moving on to Pop Culture, for $400, George Foreman was famous for this fad. It rhymes with Rean Dean. You all know this..."

And then, Kyo decides to take a crack at it.

"Mr. Kusanagi." trebek responded.

"What's a Poopchute?" Kyo smirked at him.

"Kyo, it's 'Pop Culture' not 'Poop Culture'! Get it through your thick skull!" Trebek exclaimed aggressively as Terry began to take another crack at it as well, by buzzing in. "Terry Bogard."

"Ah, what the hell, what is... poopchute?" Terry said as he kept chewing on his own gum.

"Not even close!" Trebek exclaimed madly. And then, Ash Crimson decided to take another guess by buzzing in again, "Ash Crimson, George Foreman made this popular in the 1990's."

As he took a deep breath, Ash decided to go all out.

"Who is Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield, thank you very much, I'll take Poop Culture for $800-" Is all what Ash said before he was once again cut off by the buzzer.

"No! Good god! The answer was the Lean Mean Grilling Machine!" Trebek exclaimed angrily.

"Lean Mean, huh? That's how I was with your mother last night!" Kyo smirked at the host once again.

"Okay, that's a low blow, Mr. Kusan-" Trebek said to Kyo before he was cut off by Terry himself. He appears to be wearing a large-sized version of his hat. "Mr. Bogard, what are you doing?"

"Hey, check it out. It's an oversized hat!" Terry said as he showed everyone on TV his huge oversized Fatal Fury hat.

"No, it isn't!" Trebek exclaimed at Terry.

"Yeah it is. It's funny because it's bigger than, ah..." Terry replied back to Trebek, just clearing his throat, "...ya know, a normal hat."

"Yes, I see that. Go back to your podium!" Trebek exclaimed to Terry who was latching on to him like a spider monkey.

"Haha! Take a look at that!" Terry said to the host as he pointed to the camera.

"I see that. Go back to your podium! It's not funny..." Trebek exclaimed again as Terry finally went back to his podium. After a deep breath, Trebek spoke on. "What the hell's going on...? Okay, let's just go right to Final Jeopardy. The category is Letters. Just write any letters you want and you all win. It's as simple as that."

Hearing this, both Ash, Terry and Kyo both wrote down their answers as the Final Jeopardy theme song began to play.

"You can draw A,B,C, or even D. You can write as many letters as you want. Heck, you can even draw the whole alphabet if you wanted to. Just any letters you want." Trebek said to the contestants for the final time as both the three contestants drew in their answers and wagers before time ran out for them. "Okay, let's hope something miraculous happened. Let's see what Ash Crimson wrote..."

Ash's answer happened to be just a vertical line.

"You happened to write a line..." Trebek said in a bland expression. "The answers was letters and you got it wrong..."

"I'm ze best at lines, madamoiselle..." Ash said to the host in a flirty tone.

"I'm a fuckin' man, Mr. Crimson!" Trebek exclaimed sternly at Ash Crimson, "And you wagered.."

Ash's wager happened to be another vertical line.

"You wagered a line." Trebek said still looking very bland, "I'm pretty much speechless..."

"It all came from ze noggin of Ash Crimson himself!" Ash exclaimed proudly.

"How retarded..." Trebek responded back as he approached Terry's podium, "Terry Bogard..."

"Oh, you don't have to bother, I didn't write anything." Terry said right to Trebek through nonsense.

"Good work." Trebek said as he tapped Terry's podium and then approached Kyo. "Finally, Mr. Kusanagi... the category was Letters, and you wrote..."

Kyo's answer happened to be the letters 'I M A'.

"I M A." Trebek said in amazement. "Well, I'll tell you what Kyo, I M A are letters, so despite your efforts, you seemed to answer successfully. How do you do it?"

"Well, I just have a knack for it..." Kyo said, just forcing a smile right into the host.

"You definitely do, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek said, smiling too. "Let's see what you wrote down..."

Kyo's wager happened to be the word 'Douchebag'.

"Douchebag... I.M.A. Douchebag..." Trebek said in just stunned silence as Kyo just laughed his ass off of what Trebek said.

"Hahahaha!" Kyo said, still laughing at Trebek's face, "It's all because it's true, Trebek! HAHAHA!"

Trebek then just decided to ignore and turn right to the camera sadly.

"Well, that's all the time we have..." Trebek said to the camera moodly, not even knowing Terry snuck behind and placed a huge oversized Fatal Fury hat on Trebek's head, "Good night, my- WILL YOU GET THAT OFF OF ME?" And then Trebek swats the hat away and leaves the studio in a very hateful mood.

* * *

**Just so as anyone doesn't know, Terry Bogard will be the Burt Reynolds counterpart in my fic. So he may pop up from time to time and compete, although it may be later.**

**Read and review if you can until the next chapter. WINNING!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 6  
**

The Celebrity Jeopardy theme song had kept on playing once again for the sixth time as Alex Trebek stood alongside three more fighters which involved two new fighters and a certain flame-bringer.

"And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek responded a bit grimly. "Before we start Double Jeopardy, I strongly advise everyone watching at home to please leave the room immediately. These next several minutes you may see here will cause severe blindness to your eyesight permanently. With that said in mind, let's take a look at the scores. In 1st place with 0 is K' Dash."

K' Dash is shown just yawning and leaning in this crapfest known as a podium.

"This show is trash. Everything is trash. Just like you are, Trebek." K' said to Trebek in a foul mood.

"Well... nice to know that you're here, I guess..." Trebek said right to him just trembling in fear, "In 2nd place with -7,000, is Soiree Meira."

"That's right! All of you better represent!" Soiree said to the rest of the camera and everyone in the stands, "You're looking at the main attraction himself!"

"For the last time, Soiree... you are not the main attraction." Trebek said in a very stern voice, "And finally. Good god, in last place with -120,000... is Kyo Kusanagi."

"We meet once again, you sperm-stache..." Kyo said through such nonsense, "It's like Christmas for me."

"I assume that you really think so, Mr. Kusanagi..." Trebek said as he looked like he was about to cringe. "It's time for Double Jeopardy, let's take a look at the board. The categories are: 'Potent Potables', 'Your Name' in which if you ring in and say your name, you get the points. Moving on, 'Christmas', 'Types of Birds', Foods that ends with 'acon', and finally 'Bodies', in which I'll show you a picture or line art of a body and you tell me which has the same body as the picture shown on the board. It may even resemble one of you. So, Mr. K. You start."

"I'll take Beef Jerky." K' Dash said to Trebek.

"Beef Jerky is not a category, K." Trebek said to him very sternly.

"I know, s**thead. I need something to kill my appetite when you talk." K' said to him in a very rudely manner.

"You're such a pain, K'. I'll let Mr. Kusanagi go first." Trebek said to the no-nonsense K' as he focused right on Kyo.

"That's mighty fine of you, Sperm-stache." Kyo smiled right at him as he chose a category, "I'll take 'Boobies' for $400."

"Boobies'? No, Kyo, it's 'bodies' not boobies!" Trebek said to Kyo, just fuming from the forehead. "You know what? Choosing you was a mistake, so I'll have to pick a category. Let's try Food that ends in 'acon' for $400, the question is: This is the only food that ends in 'acon'."

Hearing this, Soiree decided to take a stab at it by buzzing in.

"Soiree Meira?" Trebek said to him.

"What is Taco?" Soiree guessed stupidly.

"No, it isn't. How can taco end in 'acon'?" Trebek said snapping at the Angel of the Evening himself.

"It's a new term, Taco-acon! It's perfect!" Soiree exclaimed to the host crazily.

"No, it's not!" Trebek exclaimed angrily back to him before K' decided to buzz in. "K' Dash?"

After chewing in nonsense over some beef jerky, K' decided to speak out.

"Yeah, what is acorn?" K' said to Trebek as the buzzer sounded on him.

"K' it's foods that end in 'acon', not 'acorn'!" Trebek snapped at him as he soon took a deep breath. "The answer was 'Bacon'!"

And then, Kyo suddenly buzzed in.

"You're too late, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek spoke out to Kyo with a stern voice yet again.

"I was 'bacon' your mother last night!" Kyo exclaimed in the most teasing mood. Trebek on the other hand, wasn't pleased. "Yeah, you know how much she loved my sausage in her crossiant! POW!"

"Really? Did you just have to go there?" The host said, in a most un-amusing way. "I'm just gonna ignore you. I'll let K' go this time."

Hearing this, K' just decided to leave the studio altogether as Alex noticed this from afar.

"Wait, K'! Where are you going? You can't leave in the middle of the game!" Trebek exclaimed to the no-nonsense K', who felt like he had no use of being here.

"You said I can go!" K' exclaimed to him angrily as he refused to go to his podium.

"I don't mean it like that! You're still in the game! K' dash, you come back here immediately!" Trebek said to K' off-camera as he went to the stands to go sit far away from the contestants, "And he's now flipping me off. How family friendly of him... you know what, let's just-"

Trebek then was cut off by Soiree by a buzzer.

"What is it, Soiree Meira?" Trebek said to him.

"What is bacon?" Soiree shouted out loud.

"You haven't chosen a category yet! YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE A CATEGORY" Trebek said right at him, as the host was losing his patience for Soiree. Kyo then buzzed in on Trebek. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, MR. KUSANAGI?"

"I'll take Boobies for $800!" Kyo exclaimed with a smile as Trebek felt cringed, angered and embarrassed by this.

"No, you will not!" Trebek shouted angrily at Kyo as he finally had enough, "Let's just forget this and just go to Final Jeopardy! The final category is 'Birds'! Write any kind of bird and you win! Write, NOW!"

The Final Jeopardy theme song started to play as Soiree and Kyo began to write in their answer. Trebek then began to shout at them angrily with force.

"Remember, you can draw any bird! You can draw a cardinal, a canary, or a robin of any kind! Just draw something you want! I'm pissed off and I want to hit the noose as fast as I can!"

The Final Jeopardy theme song finally ended when Soiree and Kyo were done writing in their wagers.

"Okay, since's K's no loner with us, I guess I'll-" Trebek began to say before he was cut off by K' who was sitting in the stands.

"I got an answer for ya, Trebek!" K' said out to Trebek as he flipped him off once again.

"K', flipping me off with the middle finger does not count as a bird!" Trebek said right to him, just fuming again.

"Here's what I wagered, semen-breath!" K' said out loud to him as he threw a load of pennies to Alex Trebek's face, much to his anger and disgust.

"That's good. Don't ever come here, again!" Trebek shouted angrily to K' as he began to approach Soiree's booth, "Okay, Soiree Meira, now that uncomfortable piece of s**t has come and gone, let's see what you wrote..."

Soiree's answer happened to be the word 'Taco'.

"You wrote down 'Taco'. May I remind you that it's a food, not an animal." Trebek said right to him as Soiree smiled right at him annoyingly, "Let's see what you wagered..."

Soiree's wager just happened to be the word 'bacon'.

"Bacon. Taco Bacon. That doesn't even make sense, Mr. Meira..." Trebek spoke to him, feeling very clueless.

"It will make sense one day. Taco Bacon will rule the world next to Cocaine Pops and Crack-flavored Gum! It's the main attractions, I keep telling you!" Soiree said, just laughing in Trebek's face constantly.

"I hope there's an insane asylum for people like you..." Trebek said right to Soiree as he began to approach Kyo's podium. "Okay, Mr. Kusanagi. The clue is birds, and you wrote down..."

Kyo's answer happened to be a picture of a bird in line form.

"You happened to write down a line that's shaped like a seagull." Trebek said as he still looked speechless, but managed to put down a smile, "Well, normally we wouldn't accept that, but since that line looks like a seagull, I guess we can take it. Very good job, Mr. Kusanagi."

"You're welcome, my dear good man." Kyo said to him with a questionable smile.

"Thank you, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek said with a nod, "Now let's see what you wagered..."

Kyo's wagered just happened to be a picture of boobs.

"You managed to write boobs..." Trebek said looking very grimly of Kyo's wager.

"That's right. Bigger as your mom's butt! POW!" Kyo said, just teasing in Trebek's face once again.

"I assume so..." Trebek said in a very blunt silence as he looked at the camera, "That's all for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm gonna try not to stab myself. Good day."

* * *

**Kyo strikes once again! Who is safe from his destruction?**

**Read and review until the next chapter! BAZINGA!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Saturday Night Live, Celebrity Jeopardy, or the King of Fighters series. Just to let you know.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

The Celebrity Jeopardy song played yet again for a horrendous seventh time as Alex Trebek stood far away from the trio of fighters, ready to compete.

"Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy: KOF Edition." Trebek replied, feeling a bit sadly, "I wish I had more to say, but the FCC would not allow me to say anything racial on TV. With that said, let's take a look at the scores. In 1st place with -5,000 is Clark Still."

The camera shifts over to Clark who is tossing over a grenade for fun.

"Been there, done that. Clark rules!" Clark exclaimed to Trebek.

"You certainly have that competitive spirit, have you?" Trebek replied back to the wrestling-loving soldier, "In 2nd place with -42,000 is Yuri Sakazaki."

The camera then shifted to Yuri, who was looking very hyperactive.

"Hi, Trebek, it's good to be here! I'm so giddy!" Yuri squealed with delight.

And then just for fun, Yuri turned around and started shaking her booty.

"Booty booty boooooooo-ty! Shake shake shake, shake shake shake... shake your booty!" Yuri sang while Trebek looked a little disturbed.

"How very... sad for you, Mrs. Sakazaki." Trebek bluntly said before he looked at the last contestant, "And last and definitely least... in 3rd place with a whopping -75,000... Kyo Kusanagi is here yet again."

The camera then shifted to the last contestant known as Kyo. He had a very big grin on his face.

"Good to be here, Trebek. I'm flattered you have me here again." Kyo nodded.

"That's good." Trebek spoke with relief in his voice.

"Just like me in bed with your mother last night." Kyo replied with a smirk and laugh. Trebek didn't look very pleased.

"Of course, you always have to go there everytime..." Trebek said with a hint of anger as he looked to the category boards, "It's time for Double Jeopardy, so let's take a look at the categories. They are: 'Potent Potables', 'Is This Hulk Hogan', 'Shapes', 'What Number Are You Thinking', 'Indiana Jones', 'Bacon' and finally, 'Touch Your Nose'. Clark Still, since you're in the lead, you start. May I suggest 'Bacon'?"

"Sorry, soldier. Bacon gives me gas. You have any gum?" Clark said to Trebek with a wink.

"No Clark, I don't have any gum. Please choose-" Trebek said while displaying a blunt face. Meanwhile, Clark interrupted him by buzzing in.

"I'll take Gum for $200, Alex." Clark smiled.

"That's not one of the categories, Clark." The host said with his eyes rolling. Clark buzzed once again.

"Clark rules!" Clark declared with his fists in the air.

"I know... you already told me that." Trebek spoke back to Clark before Yuri decided to buzz in, "Mrs. Sakazaki, would you like to choose?"

"Look at my butt! See it shake! Whoooooo!" Yuri hollered to the host before she turned around, bent over and started shaking her butt as an insult to Trebek's conscience.

"I'm gonna take that as a no, I guess. You know what, let's let Kyo Kusanagi choose a category." Trebek said out loud as Kyo decided to choose a category.

"Very flattering of you, Trebek. I'll take 'In Diana Jones' for $400." Kyo smiled greedily.

However, Trebek looked at the category with a little bit of egg in his face. Disturbed, he spoke back to Kyo.

"Kyo, that's Indiana Jones, not In Diana Jones!" Trebek exclaimed to Kyo as he tried to correct him. He then shook it off and gave out the clue "Anyway, for $400, "Harrison Ford plays this character shown right here."

A photo of Indiana Jones is shown on screen. After quick thinking, the contestants decided to give it a shot, mostly Clark who buzzed in.

"Clark Still?" Trebek said to the soldier.

"What is Han Solo?" Clark spoke with a smile.

"No, that's not right. Han Solo is from 'Star Wars'." Trebek corrected him before Clark decided to buzz in again, "You're too late, Clark."

"Clark rules!" Clark victoriously said.

"I know..." Trebek said with a bit of egg in his face once again. Yuri decided to buzz in and give it a shot herself, "...Yuri Sakazaki?"

"Why won't you see my booty?" Yuri whined.

"I rather not." Trebek woozily responded. With another grin on his face, Kyo decided to buzz in, "Mr. Kusanagi."

"What is the President from 'Air Force One'?" Kyo replied with a thumbs up before Trebek all decided to give the contestants a hateful glare.

"For crying out loud, the answer was Indiana Jones! Harrison Ford was Indiana Jones!" Trebek cried out before Kyo buzzed in much to his discomfort, "What the hell do you want, Mr. Kusanagi."

"So was it Harrison Ford that was doing Diana Jones?" Kyo replied with a hint of confusion.

"No, it's not like that, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek growled, "Look, let's just forget about this and choose another category. How about "Shapes" for $1,200? What is this shape shown right here?"

A picture of a perfectly drawn circle shows up on the board. After much thinking, Clark decided to give it a hand.

"Mr. Still, do you have an answer?" The host said to the soldier.

"Yes, I do. What is my butt?" Clark smiled as Trebek hit his forehead in pure stupidity.

"Definitely not." Trebek growled once more before Clark decided to annoy him by buzzing in, "Clark, you already had your turn."

"Clark rules!" Clark yelled victoriously once again.

"I'm about moments away from yanking that buzzer off your hands..." Trebek said to Clark while gritting his teeth viciously. Yuri decided to get another try by buzzing in, "Mrs. Sakazaki?"

"What is... my butt?" Yuri frantically exclaimed while she stuck her butt at Trebek far away.

"What is it with you and butts? I don't get it." Trebek said to Yuri before Kyo buzzed in, "Mr. Kusanagi?"

"What is your mother's butt? She has the firmest circle in town!" Kyo smirked.

With so much pathetic insults from all three characters, Trebek finally threw himself off the edge.

"NO, IT'S NOT! IT'S A CIRCLE! A G****MN CIRCLE!" Trebek shouted with rage, "ARE ALL OF YOU BRAINDEAD?"

Not Clark, Yuri and Kyo responded once bit. They were still disturbed by Trebek's screaming. Luckily, Clark managed to buzz in.

"What now, Clark?" Trebek said with anger still spreading to his voice.

"I'll take gum for $400. Clark rules!" Clark hollered once more.

Trebek sent his head smashing down the podium in stupidity. This is perhaps the stupidest bunch of fighters he had ever done in one episode.

"You know what?" Trebek replied while trying to be calm, "Let's just forget this whole thing and go to Final Jeopardy. The final category is "Famous Last Names." If you can write one last name of a famous celebrity, you'll win."

As the Final Jeopardy theme song started to play, Clark, Yuri and Kyo started to draw on the podium.

"You can write Cruise, Lopez, Gooding Jr. or even me. As long as it can be a celebrity of any kind. If you do that, you'll win." Trebek said to the competitors as the theme song concluded.

After all three competitors were finished with their answers and wagers, the host approached them one at a time. Trebek approached Clark first.

"Well, let's see how much of a mess our competitors made this time, shall we? Let's start with Clark Steel. He wrote down.

_**Clark's answer: Clark**_

"Clark." Trebek spoke with disappointment. "Sorry, Mr. Still, your first name doesn't count."

"I ran out of time." Clark said with his head feeling a bit down.

"Big deal." Trebek replied back, "Let's see what you wagered."

_**Clark's wager: Rules**_

"Rules. Clark rules..." Trebek said with his jaw slackered to the floor.

"You know I do. Clark rules!" Clark hollered once again. But this time, his hollering got up in Trebek's face.

"I really hope you get rehab for this..." Trebek said to Clark before he turned his attention to Yuri, "Okay, Miss Sakazaki."

But before he could ask Yuri for her answer and wager, Yuri decided to shake her butt right in Trebek's face.

"Shake shake shake, shake shake shake... shake your booty! SHAKE YOUR BOOTY!" Yuri sang once more before Trebek decided to turn away from Yuri once and for all.

"You know, I really don't care what your answer and your wager is. You're a nad." Trebek said while turning his attention from Yuri over to Kyo, "Finally, Mr. Kusanagi... the category was "Famous Last Names", and you wrote..."

_**Kyo's answer: Trebek**_

"Trebek." Trebek said with surprising results, "That's my name. I'm very surprised, Mr. Kusanagi."

"Well, it's all I can do, Trebek. You really deserve it." Kyo said, feigning a care-free smile.

"I'm really proud of you, Kyo." Trebek smiled to him, feeling a bit appreciated.

"You're welcome, Alex." Kyo nodded.

"Let's see what Kyo wagered, shall we?" Trebek said as he checked out the wager.

_**Kyo's wager: Can suck it**_

"Can suck it..." Trebek said in utter shock. Kyo in the other hand, laughed right in the host's face.

"It's so true, Trebek! But I'm certain your mom knows a good thing about sucking!" Kyo exclaimed with a greedy expression on his face.

"You fail to irritate me, Mr. Kusanagi." Trebek scowled at Kyo as he turned to the camera, "That's all for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm gonna stick my face in the oven. Good night."

* * *

**Kyo strikes once again. But what kind of mental damage will he pull off in the next chapter? R&R until then.**


End file.
